Wednesday, January 13, 2010

so it has been nearly a year...

yes in ten days it will have been a year since our John went to heaven..well actually nine days since the "incident" and then he passed away within twenty four hours. How our lives have changed. Dave is in school now, halfway finished actually. Jarrod and I are still at home, homeschooling, but we are different. Truly I cannot say I have ever experienced sadness before this, I might have thought I was sad, but this is a physical ache, a pain that starts at your throat and moves into your chest and then the pit of your stomach. No one should ever have to bury a child, ever.
For my friends who know me well, this wont seem as odd (because you already know I have a squirrely brain LOL) Last night I was laying in bed, thinking about this past year, and I though what if I wake up in January 24th, and find this was all a dream, a year long dream, what if my John was in his bed snoozing away, how happy I would be to see him. I do realize that is not going to happen, so no need to call the guys with the strait jacket. But there are times when it has seemed like a nightmarish life, that I would wish I could just wake up.

When you say yours prayers include a prayer for our family...
God Bless You !!